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Scions Abound

Gossip columnists in San Francisco recently reported sightings of Joey Chestnut in and around the Toyota dealer in San Mateo. Is Joey looking for a Pathfinder or a FJ Cruiser? Perhaps, but those who follow the trends of competitive eating believe it’s more likely the top-ranked eater in the country was visiting the Scion showroom.

“The Scion is clearly the most popular ride among competitive eaters these days,” said Badlands Booker who drives a Ford Expedition. “In the grafitti days everyone had their own arrow. It’s the same with a Scion. Eaters can express themselves as an individual, customizing this car is what it’s about.”

Indeed, all Scions have one standard trim level and are intended to allow their owners the freedom to customize in any way.

Don Moses Lerman, world butter eating champ, has a white Scion that has been completely pimped out to his specification by a dealer in Suffolk County, NY. It includes a spoiler kit, leather monogramed seats, a Bazooka Tube so strong it makes Frankie Avalon sound like E-40, and DONMOSESLERMAN stenciled on the windshield (backwards so as to be legible by helicopters or people up high in buildings).

“Nobody has a car like mine, nobody,” said Lerman. “I treat it with kid gloves. I love this car.”

Moses is not alone in his Scion obsession. Philly’s Bob Shoudt, the shoo-fly pie eating champ of the world, has a Scion as well. It is white like Lerman’s, but it lacks the monagramming. Shoudt says he prefers to put his focus on custom treatments less apparent to the idle motorist.

“I began with a base 4 cylinder that produces 108 HP, but I just had it Dyno'd at 210 HP. I also lowered it two inches and put Tokimo adjustable shocks all around,” said Shoudt. “I have been working on it for a year to take on Don.”

If all indications from Northern California are accurate, Shoudt may have more than Don to contend with on the race track. And if Joey Chestnut goes Scion it is safe to say others like Simpson and Erik the Red will soon follow. And what about Badlands?

“I favor a truck, but if I were to go Scion I would kit it out with LCD panels and an Alpine system, and it would be a two-seater a la Bubba from Police Academy,” said Badlands, adding: “Oh, and I’d crush both Shoudt and Lerman.”

Bring it on.